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killing us softly

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this rings pretty true with me. what do you guys think?

i think it’s so interesting the extremes in our culture. on the one hand we have this crazy unrealistic body image shoved down our eye sockets, and on the other hand obesity is rampant. i think that whenever people have unrealistic expectations of themselves they are so devestated by any flaws that they just give up and seek comfort or escapism in instantly gratifying things, like food. i went through a ‘chubby’ stage in my early twenties. you could call it college weight but i definitely think it was more emotional. i was going through a weird time in my life after my parents divorce and trying to find my own in the ‘grown-up’ world, while i was also starting to pursue an acting career. obviously acting is first and foremost about how you look, since the casting directors judge you before you even open your mouth to read the lines. i was always a pretty self confident person growing up but i would say those were my insecure and lost years. thus, i would turn to food for solace in the moment but then immediatly feel horribly guilty and even worse about myself. it sucked!

i think what Jean Kilbourne says makes sense, this is a public health issue. if you dehumanize people and make them feel like their worth is measured solely by how you look, you create an epidemic of people who can’t live up and then lose all hope and kill themselves through one of the extremes of anorexia or obesity. it really upsets me to see women objectified in our culture but it upsets me even more how unaware people are of this daily occurrence. we are all hypnotized by the images of boobs and legs and taught tummies. like, are those Victoria Secret commercials supposed to make me feel good about myself!? i have slowly been realizing throughout my twenties that life is all about balance. i’m glad that i had my depressed/chubby stage to make me realize how i don’t want to live my life. it is about ‘yin and yang’ and ‘everything in moderation’ and ‘giving yourself a fucking break if you eat a fucking cookie for fucks sake!’

i am more than an actress striving for some random part on some random movie or tv show. i have found worth in my creativity, art and my personal and valid interpretation of the world around me. my physical appearance will age and there will always be someone younger, prettier and skinnier than me. my brain and my spirit and my personal style are what define me. i know that my boobs will sag (i’m convinced they’ve already started, hello culture making me critical of myself!), the cellulite on the back of my thighs will probably never go away and i will also get wrinkles, my job is to just make sure they are happy ones!

shameless plug for my happy wrinkles face pendants and screw you necklaces

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